Even thought I was given healing light in one of my meditations and later I went to learn reiki when I started feeing energy move in my body everytime I saw Reiki symbols; I prefer not to do healing, not even to my children when they are sick. The reason being that I start feeling the pain of the patient in my body for days after the healing. I was told that may be I unknowingly use The method of healing in which one takes on another's disease and then processes it in her own body. This person laughed at me and said, off course the other person will get better when you take it on. I have been told to use protection before healing session, so I don't get affected but I always skip this step.
Recently I found out that one of my colleagues sister is dying of cancer. He himself is a Reiki master and has given healing to her many times and saved her for years. Two months ago he was called to say goodbye to her which he wasn't prepared to do. He saved her once more and came back to work happy. This time I had sent healing to her and noticed that she is angry at something that happened in her childhood years. According to her brother, she is angry that her mother never loved her. This mother had eleven children and the people mentioned are the last two children. Weather the mother had time to love the children or not is besides the point when one is close to sixty years of age. The point is that the patient needs to forgive her mother for not giving her the amount of attention this child wanted but she can't seem to forgive her mother. I tried so hard to unpack her bags but there was one item left in her bag last time and I heard the words, " she would be saved in time". I never understood what does that mean? Why did she have three flowers in her hair when I saw her as a little girl?
Last week when I went to work, I found out that he has gone to say final goodbye to her. I felt sad for him. Then I caught very bad viral infection, apparently the the real influenza and was very sick for days. On the third day of sickness, I was so weak that everytime I tried to close my eyes for meditation, I immediately started seeing the purple swirl in the third eye. The moon was also about to go full in a day or two. I decided that I should utilise this time to do meditation and try to pray for someone who is desperate for a child but can't fall pregnant for years due to some cyst on the overy.
While in meditation, my attention kept going back to my colleagues dying sister, so instead I tried to send her some healing and unpack her bag fully this time. I took every single item from her handbag out and even tried to tear its insides to see if the was anything hidden that wasn't taken out. At that I felt that may be I shouldn't have done that. It felt like I didn't have the permission to stop her, so I mentioned my colleagues name and said that I am trying to heal his sister, so the connection is known and energy gets accepted. To my surprise she suddenly put on her glamorous red dress with embroidery, and hair done like a bride, took her little six year old self with her waving goodbye, ruining all my efforts to save her. I was shocked how suddenly she changed her mind just minutes after she had accepted the energy as if that was the most powerful thing she could do to get attention. I changed the colour of her dress and tried a few things but felt that she is determined to keep going back to her path of anger and that's why nobody can save her. It might take her a few lifetimes to learn to forgive.
I felt sad that I wasted my time and energy on someone determined to die for the sake of attention instead of doing something for someone who is praying for a child everyday. Why am I not helping them even when my mother had asked for help indirectly? I believe God is wiser and our efforts never bring desired results. Whatever God does is for a good reason but who was I to think that they should think of adopting a child instead of having their own, risking the month era life who has a cyst on the overy and can't fall pregnant. I have been asked, so I should try to help I thought and started praying for them. I was told that it would take six months for the cyst to go away, another 6-8 months for the girl to fall pregnant naturally and then 9 months for the baby to come, so it will all happen in the next 24 months. I was worried if the mother would survive after the birth. Upon asking, I saw her doing the child's hair when he was 3-4 years old. Then I asked what kind of a person this child would be? He seemed like a strong built warrior type. I didn't feel comfortable about the warrior thing, why would he need to be a warrior to spread his religion in the South India? So I asked, is that a good thing that he will be born altering the God's Will? Would the child have a good life? I heard the words 'ahankare marna' meaning will die because of ego.
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Warrior is a person who acts even in the face of fear, nothing to do with a war of weapons. Funny how I had to read this book which mentioned fear and warriors tonight. I love the universe, it always answers the questions, except sometimes I don't understand. Fear dissolves with conscious action and focuses on now. Read page 77 onwards and the next chapter is on anger. The book is Mystic secrets revealed by Edwin Harkness Spina. Two healthy responses to anger which is caused by unmet expectations is to act or accept reality. I can't believe the next chapter 'take back your power' is answering my question about my self doubt on weather it's right to heal and attempt to alter the course of life. I do listen to my inner master and that's the only time I heal and create, as per the direction from the higher self.
Recently I found out that one of my colleagues sister is dying of cancer. He himself is a Reiki master and has given healing to her many times and saved her for years. Two months ago he was called to say goodbye to her which he wasn't prepared to do. He saved her once more and came back to work happy. This time I had sent healing to her and noticed that she is angry at something that happened in her childhood years. According to her brother, she is angry that her mother never loved her. This mother had eleven children and the people mentioned are the last two children. Weather the mother had time to love the children or not is besides the point when one is close to sixty years of age. The point is that the patient needs to forgive her mother for not giving her the amount of attention this child wanted but she can't seem to forgive her mother. I tried so hard to unpack her bags but there was one item left in her bag last time and I heard the words, " she would be saved in time". I never understood what does that mean? Why did she have three flowers in her hair when I saw her as a little girl?
Last week when I went to work, I found out that he has gone to say final goodbye to her. I felt sad for him. Then I caught very bad viral infection, apparently the the real influenza and was very sick for days. On the third day of sickness, I was so weak that everytime I tried to close my eyes for meditation, I immediately started seeing the purple swirl in the third eye. The moon was also about to go full in a day or two. I decided that I should utilise this time to do meditation and try to pray for someone who is desperate for a child but can't fall pregnant for years due to some cyst on the overy.
While in meditation, my attention kept going back to my colleagues dying sister, so instead I tried to send her some healing and unpack her bag fully this time. I took every single item from her handbag out and even tried to tear its insides to see if the was anything hidden that wasn't taken out. At that I felt that may be I shouldn't have done that. It felt like I didn't have the permission to stop her, so I mentioned my colleagues name and said that I am trying to heal his sister, so the connection is known and energy gets accepted. To my surprise she suddenly put on her glamorous red dress with embroidery, and hair done like a bride, took her little six year old self with her waving goodbye, ruining all my efforts to save her. I was shocked how suddenly she changed her mind just minutes after she had accepted the energy as if that was the most powerful thing she could do to get attention. I changed the colour of her dress and tried a few things but felt that she is determined to keep going back to her path of anger and that's why nobody can save her. It might take her a few lifetimes to learn to forgive.
I felt sad that I wasted my time and energy on someone determined to die for the sake of attention instead of doing something for someone who is praying for a child everyday. Why am I not helping them even when my mother had asked for help indirectly? I believe God is wiser and our efforts never bring desired results. Whatever God does is for a good reason but who was I to think that they should think of adopting a child instead of having their own, risking the month era life who has a cyst on the overy and can't fall pregnant. I have been asked, so I should try to help I thought and started praying for them. I was told that it would take six months for the cyst to go away, another 6-8 months for the girl to fall pregnant naturally and then 9 months for the baby to come, so it will all happen in the next 24 months. I was worried if the mother would survive after the birth. Upon asking, I saw her doing the child's hair when he was 3-4 years old. Then I asked what kind of a person this child would be? He seemed like a strong built warrior type. I didn't feel comfortable about the warrior thing, why would he need to be a warrior to spread his religion in the South India? So I asked, is that a good thing that he will be born altering the God's Will? Would the child have a good life? I heard the words 'ahankare marna' meaning will die because of ego.
----------
Warrior is a person who acts even in the face of fear, nothing to do with a war of weapons. Funny how I had to read this book which mentioned fear and warriors tonight. I love the universe, it always answers the questions, except sometimes I don't understand. Fear dissolves with conscious action and focuses on now. Read page 77 onwards and the next chapter is on anger. The book is Mystic secrets revealed by Edwin Harkness Spina. Two healthy responses to anger which is caused by unmet expectations is to act or accept reality. I can't believe the next chapter 'take back your power' is answering my question about my self doubt on weather it's right to heal and attempt to alter the course of life. I do listen to my inner master and that's the only time I heal and create, as per the direction from the higher self.
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