Improve own behaviour and brain

re Loosig your Brain is the most scary thing in the world. More scary than loosing your reputation, wealth and youth. Go see a dementia patient and you will know.My mother-in-law has it. I believe it came upon her due to the streses and major trauma she faced in life. Trauma leaves a physical imprint on the body and you need to remove the trauma along with its physical signs. People only ever learn to cope with it. I am not sure if they learn to remove it altogther. I believe, with affirmations and breathing, it can be as the first change that happens when body goes in stress is change in breath. We stop breathing or it changes its pace. Imagine telling someone that a loved one died. What will happen to their body? They paid full attention to the moment to grasp the news. So, to fix the issue, we need to go back to where the first sign of trauma appeared and with the same level of attention in the positive direction. Affirmations I allow my body to completely relax. I allow my body to release the trauma ... I allow my hypocampus to produce new brain cells I allow my hypocampus to regenerate neuroplastic connections I allow my amygdala to form new memories, consolidate and recall. repete

Chains of habits & prisons of beliefs

 You have been lead to believe that you are free because you are living in a western country. Changing countries and locations within doesn't change a person, their skills, beliefs or habits. 

Similarly, death does not automatically make you an angel with kindness and powers to help and heal mortals. These are matters of choice, skill, habit, belief and ethic; all at the same time. All of the five factors are not blanket statements with a yes or no answer. There are degrees of truths within them. For example, I affiliate with Sikh religion but to what degree? Just because I affiliate with it does not mean I agree with or approve of all of the actions and statements made by current practitioners and leaders. Also, if I once affiliated with some organisation, doesn't mean that I am still affiliated. My actions reflect what I stand for or not. My actions can be misinterpreted as good or bad due to someones misjudgement or deliberate ill intent. 

Ill intent is generated when one choses a new goal and finds that someone or something is a hurdle in their path and needs to be destroyed or moved aside. Human beings destroy many things like tress and koala habitats for example. Their ill intent does not stop with things. Next come people in places that they need influence over. When they can't be influenced, they must be made to step aside. Sometimes this involves chatting with the person, talking to others with similar goals, lobbying, litigation, use of media and the list goes on. The world use to be much simpler and a gunshot was sufficient to get rid of the person. 

Any of the tactics used once to achieve a goal become a familiar path. A familiar path becomes a route. A route becomes a habit and habits are hard to change unless the occupant decides and choses to change it.

even when we succeed, it's easy to fall back and go again on the familiar path, may that be the chosen path of destruction or going back to religion or club you once affiliated with. People rule within various jurisdictions. Business community, farming community, a not for profit community group, the list goes on. everyone likes to rule a certain territory. even within gov jobs people swim successfully across a few channels within an organisation and yet comes a point where they can't go past their jurisdiction. 

When that jurisdiction is a step/person in hierarchy that is lower than them, it's easier to destroy or remove even with all the bullying and anti-discrimination laws in place. Those who are experts within their jurisdiction, know how to make and break the rules and how to create evidence to support their decisions and actions. This makes it very difficult for the victim to prove his/ her innocence and point out injustice.

What do they do when faced with injustice defines who they are. either they are a fighter or a cry baby. Someone once wrote, "You are only a victim, if you think you are." Meaning, just because someone did wrong by you does not mean you have to let the rest of your life be a prisoner of that event. Some people will choose to repeat that sad story their whole life and let their personal and professional growth be stunted due to the scar they were given. A scar never means you are incapacitated. You are only incapacitated if you believe you are.

Similarly, if you let that negative event dominate your life; you are also attaching a chain of thought to that event and the person(s) involved. This is the start of the story of karma. You made a choice. every choice has a consequence. Familiar choices become familiar paths. Familiar people become roadblocks or saviours again and again; in life and in death. 

Whatever family, friends and enemies that you have chosen to collect in your memories and make part of your story, will eventually become a roadblock in your spiritual progress. The reason being, that the spiritual path is about you and the universe; not you, others and the universe. First choice makes you indifferent to joy and sorrow as it allows you to see the events from all perspectives whereas the later choice will make you take sides and chose between good and bad and eventually start seeing your path as right and others wrong. even angels can be brought down to human level and bonded in chains by their believers. 

Continuous walk on the same path over and over makes the habit more solid and makes the idea of looking at another way more and more unlikely. Some intervention is required to break the cycle. Bigger the interruption to routine; more the possibility of change. Change can make or break something or someone depending on the amount of flexibility or fluidity within. 

Breath is the carrier of air and water into small spaces that introduce fluidity in rigid environments including in things so hardy as rocks. Breath introduces you to the empty space within you. This space loosens your rigid thoughts, interrupts the familiar paths, creates new paths and shows new perspectives.

Focus on your breath with eyes closed as eyes are your familiar path for the consumption of information. Breath is a guide to show you the unseen and unperceived path. Trust your breath. It does not betray you even in your sleep. A true friend is the one who does the right thing by you even when you are not present or aware of a situation. Be with your friend.

When you learn to choose right friends, your life improves. Breath is a friend that will show you the path of life without physical eyes. It will take you to an invisible world. When invisible world becomes familiar, death becomes easy as you have a clue to what it would be like living without a physical body.All of the above will still not improve you decisions about what actions you will be involving yourself in after the physical body is no longer with you. Your chains of bonds to other physical bodies and places and familiar paths of actions will guide your future actions. For some with strong bonds of love rebirth into familiar homes with be a satisfactory action. For those unhappy with how life and people in it, treated them; coming back may not be so quick and easy. For those who have seen and grasped the concept of birth and death, may want to see whats beyond this cycle. Whatever your choice, such will be your path. 

Why lock yourself in a small prison of limited beliefs? Why walk the same path? Don't you have the desire to know and see more?

Pillers of life

The purpose of life is not to find happiness and luxury only. For if that was the case,  our standard .Of living has improved a lot, yet you find more people depressed and diseased.  TED has a beautiful succulent video on this topic that mentioned four pillars of life which included a sense of belonging, selfless service and a purpose in life. That is what any organisation provides whether it's a religious organisation. Sporting group. Volunteer group or a job. When your day is scheduled around a goal, it also gives you organisation, reason to live and less chaos.

People crave company of others and admiration because of a sense of belonging. Those who learn to love their own company and enjoy mindfulness no longer seek others company and admiration.  They see oneness with all creation and hence they are never alone.  They belong to theceeation and admire the creator, that is giving praise to someone else and feel worthy as their purpose is to admire the creation and it's creator. So you see its not difficult to have a sense of belonging and purpose in life.  When you feel satisfied with your purpose, you no longer chase the dollar,  you are content with the existing way of life. To feel part of the nature simply live outdoors more.

We have created these fortresses called houses and workplaces with bricks and concrete that separates us from the nature, a big cause of depression. 

Create a garden,  take care of plants and share the produce to access your share of selfless service. At night,  make a habit of looking to the sky and admiring the stars and the open sky. 

We are part of big magic that we do not understand., get in the habit of wondering to access the feeling of amazement. 

Healing and bees

I was asking the universe to heal my memory and the ability to forgive but not forget. When I interview for the TV show on Saturday, I clearly felt that I can’t tell my story succulently as I could before. I waffle a lot. Same goes in job interviews. I know a lot better in my head than how I express it. It frustrates me and yet nobody believes I have an issue.
For many years I was believing that I had forgiven people who brought grief in my life. I later found out that I have faded their memory to dull my pain but not properly forgiven as I felt the same pain when I saw these people. The habit of deliberate memory loss however spread and overcame me. It’s not good for my functional life.
So when I was in the session requesting the memory to be restored. I saw a vision in which I stepped out of the house into the car park next door and realised there were bees everywhere on the ground. It was like a swarm of bees was moving from somewhere and were on their way to find a new home. there were lots and lots of them in one meter wide lines. I tried not to step on any of them as I walked in side th house to get my little son to show him. I knew he wouldn’t have seen such a site with so many bees on the ground. I told him to be careful and not step on them but when I looked,I found that there were no bees. They had gone. There were tracks in the cement carpark though that showed where the bees had been.
Do bees represent memory? The bees went away, does that mean my memory will too. Why weren’t the bees flying? It was as if they were tired. How do I stop mined from disappearing. I do I rejuvenate  my energy, so it’s not such a burden to carry the memories? Without memory, I will be lost.Memory is necessary to make sense of the world, the time, the relationships. Tge memory provides the context in which we work and play. Without context, one is lost.
I realised it was just a dream, so I started my healing again but instead of SHO KU RAE symbol, I drew a slightly different symbol with the circle going in the opposite direction. Now that I am trying to think, it doesn’t seem like it was wrong, I just felt that way at the time. Since I had the urge to draw the symbol that way, so I did. Then I started drawing number 7 starting from my feet towards the legs and then one from the head coming down. Then I realised the magic of 7 and 3 symbols, 3 being the shape of the kundalini energy crawl. I had the urge to draw these numbers and the triangles from the third eye on a human figure, so others know about it. The two triangles that I was shown in another meditation turn out to be the triangles relating to the golden ratio proportions, one wide triangle with 108 degree angle at the top and 36 degrees on the two sides. The second, narrow and long triangle has 36 degree angle at the top and 72 degree angles on the sides. The two triangles are part of the pentagram with each triangles having at least one 36 degree angle. All this time, I didn't know how to explain what triangles I had seen.
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Bees means hard work. I worked hard all day on the concrete courtyard of my shop that day. I am not sure if it had anything to do with the memory. 

The point of religious practices

I was amazed to find out that the drug use can lead to people seeing images and hearing voices that other people say aren’t there. Medical industry named it schizophrenia. Then I heard a drug user say that he could hear peoples soul speak when their bodies were asleep. I was amazed at this. These experiences seem very similar to a deep meditation experience. I had heard that in Hinduism they initially use marijuana to give the new disciple a glimpse of what results the spiritual path brings but strictly prohibit long term use of it. This makes sense as marijuana does give a person a fake experience, a spiritual rush where you do feel what is dipicted in the photos of Shiva, a rush of energy coming from behind the nose, going towards the head and the you start to see two balls of energy switching places very fast. Then you start seeing some images that keep going faster and faster. It seems that black Africans and Chinese have used this drug.
While it gives one energy rush from behind the nose, just like the spiritual experience, the images shown are clearly not real or have any connection to your past, present or future. They are random images keeping the mind entertained. It does not give you that satisfaction and a kind of glow that you feel in your soul that lasts for weeks and is noticeable by regular people. Moreover, the images are out of one’s control. Unlike in meditation, you are not able to control the experience or see spiritual guides and seek guidance or ask for favours.
Although, the random images during drug use also have some connection to your deeper desires. For example, during my one and only time use showed images of a black African lady doing a very fantastic dance with a Chinese guy. While I am not interested in the kind of modern ballroom kind of dance she was doing, while wearing her dark blue shiny short skirt, I was impressed by her dancing skill. I like dancing and always want to be a better dancer. So the images skill had some connection to my interests. When in meditation, I have been able to connect with the gurus, perhaps because I have had more time to guide my thoughts to the gurus whereas when drug takes over, your thoughts are more worldly. May be the drug simply enhanced the experience from whatever thought was hidden deep inside at the time. Maybe a spiritual experience is exactly the same, nothing more. May be it’s our mind reaching a deeply relaxing state in which we are able to connect with our own deepest thoughts. The problem is that if a drug user is a person who is facing negative experiences in life and is trying to escape his situation, he may simply enhance his negative thoughts about the world during his experience. Even if he/ she doesn’t feel that way, he/ she learns to escape the world whereas in deep meditation, the purpose of to feel bold and seek guidance to face the world not abandon it. May be difference between the two experiences is not so real. May be all spiritual experiences are creation of the mind, nothing more. If so, was being shown God, simply my desire? If so, why did I feel the joy for months afterwards and yet no such joy after the marijuana use?
For anyone curious, deep meditation bring much better quality experiences than any drug use, except you have to focus your energy to behind the nose, rather than the drug do it for you. While you are focusing on the breath, you are also relaxing your body and aligning your thoughts
Initially you are in complete control until the auto-pilot takes over and gives you a serene experience leaving to feeling joyful.
Even in meditation, a warning is given to not overdo it initially. Slowly build the experience. If you overdo it while your 3rd eye muscles is building with each meditation and gaining strength to have
more powerful experiences over the course of time.
If you rush this process by doing too much meditation and forcing the experience to happen quicker, you are creating a path to the mental hospital.
Maybe the whole point of religious practices is to slowly lead a person to the spiritual path and spiritual path simply means better mental well-being, a coping mechanism. Maybe being religious means taking time to reflect on your mental health and allow time to heal and recover from the everyday trauma of life. The everyday trauma comes from people saying mean things to each other. Sometimes, people don’t realise how smallest actions or words can lead to the feeling of hurt, feeling tha you are not loved or valued, that you are not as good as you expected to be. That is why a God was created by the creative mind who needed love and acceptance. The ALL LOVING GOD IS MERCIFUL AND FORGIVES ALL YOUR SINS. This way even the people who have committed crimes against humanity can seek redemption. God was created to save us from the cruel world and give us strength to carry on with this life and help those who are struggling. When you help someone, you feel valued. We think we are chasing money in life to feel happy and satisfied in life. We are actually chasing being valued and appreciated. That’s why thousands of people are happy to volunteer for a cause, religious or not.
So the point of creating religion was to give a routine to people, to help them balance chasing money and chasing happiness by taking care of their wellbeing. The basic human need is to feel in control. While some created religion for mental well-being, others saw it as a powerful tool to control the masses. Therefore, every young religion is an attempt to help humans and as it gets older, people who like to control others take over the religious institution. Jesus created Christianity from Judaism. Muhammad created Islam from Christianity. Buddhism was created to tackle Hinduism.
Nanak created Sikhism to remove the power from the hands of Brahmins and Muslim rulers and stop the exploitation and massacres of masses in the name of religion. This fight to dismantle the religious institutions to empower the people has to continue because the ultimate goal of creating God was to empower people and give them hope of life. This has to stay, the hope that we can cope with this life to the end. Hope that we can create positive outcomes from negative situations. When there is no hope, we can’t cope and then com the drugs or the quick fix religious figures to exploit the situation for self benefit. Vulnerable people need to be saved and shown the path of deep meditation to help themselves.

Happiness is a chemical reaction

It is very important to understand that our experiences are not only associated with the events of life but to the reactions we give during those events. These reactions are not completely under our control and neither are they rational all the time. We have prejudices, past experiences, societal expectations etc that decide how we react. Most importantly, our body produces hormones to make us feel a certain way. This is why the knowledge of chakras and feelings associated with them is important. Once you understand how focusing on different parts of body, opens up a set of feelings and reactions in the body; you begin to understand that feelings can be manipulated and induced.
A feeling of happiness has nothing to do with the new things that you acquire. It's merely a learnt behaviour. That's why such happiness is not long lasting. We constantly need stimulus to continue the happy feeling.
The biggest complaint people have amidst a very busy life is that they are bored or they don't have time to do the things they love. This means that it's not the acquiring of new goods but the freshness of the experience that brings happiness. Meditation is one activity that some people choose as a time to regulate their emotions. Experience says that people are adventurous by nature. Gaining new experiences doesn't always mean changing location, travelling, having a different job or a new relationship or new addition to the possessions. The cheapest way to gain new experiences is by meditation.
Focus on your breath. Feel the sensation around your nostrils, the most sensitive part that also carries the smell and can monitor the temperature of the breath.
Just like in a science experiment, the right apparatus is important. Similarly, it's important to maintain the right head posture while you are focusing during meditation. Wrong head position means wrong chemical reaction. Especially be aware of not holding your head low while meditating, it can induce depression. It's not just during meditation, this applies to any activity that you do for a period of time. Have you noticed your head position when you scroll the facebook or any other site? Do you know that the rate of depression has risen tremendously in recent years?  Be mindful of your posture and your moods.
You would have heard that a smile is contagious. It's a good habit to notice your own facial expression. Put on a smile, just as you mindfully put on the cream or makeup on your face each day because you are aware that people will be watching your face. It's not just your face that's on display, it's also your emotions. You can fake your smile until it becomes a habit. It only takes 21 days to change a habit. Have you seen how you look when you are watching a show? Not the reaction but the general facial expression when you are waiting for the next exciting thing to happen in it? You might be surprised at how tense you look when you think that you are engaging in a relaxing activity.

Relaxing is an art. it's not the activity but your mindfulness that brings relaxation. Like you have to consciously remind yourself to make sure you drink 3 litres of water each day, motivate your self to exercise; similarly, you need to set aside 20 minutes for mindfulness each day. Mindfulness is a time to watch yourself, your breath, your posture, the tension in your facial muscles, in your hands, arms and shoulders, in your back, in your vital organs, in your thighs, legs and feet and consciously directing your body parts to relax. Connect with your body each day in this manner. Contraction and expansion is the law of nature. One doesn't happen without the other. When you are not relaxed, you have not expanded enough. You have constricted your body. It has limited its ability to expand and contract. Consciously manoeuvre your body, so the posture is relaxing and you are breathing deeply enough for maximum relaxation. You deserve a reward before starting your big day and at the end of the day. Giving yourself time for mindful relaxation is the reward your body deserves. You deprive your body of the reward and it will retaliate and give you dis-ease later on. You choose today what will grow inside your body tomorrow - ease or disease.

One vibration

The translation of the mool mantra , the Sikh core philosophy is not simply 'One God'.
It means one doer of actions within us.  Ek means one and O ang kaar, needs to be divided into three parts to understand it's meaning.  O means one sound vibration.  Ang means part of your body. Kaar means action. So,  one sound vibration that is within your body and is the ultimate cause of all action within you.
Next part of the mantra describes it as Satnaam. Sat meaning True Naam means name,  a specific sound to identify the real you.
By speaking these words 'Ek O-Ang-Kaar, Satnaam' Guru Nanak is suggesting there is a true sound vibration within us that takes us to the blueprint that created us. He further clarifies that this sound vibration is the Kartapurakh, the doer of actions, the person truly responsible for how you act and what you achieve or not in this world.
This powerful self within us,  he explains, is Nirbhao Nirvair meaning without fear and animosity.  This powerful trueself,  Nanak claims, is Akal Murat- timeless self.
Therefore,  the timeless self is without fear and animosity and is the doer of all action within us. This self is a sound vibration and therefore can be easily found by connecting with the sound. No wonder then,  that Nanak suggest singing as the quickest way to reaching the true self.
Nanak then explains the deeper connection of this sound vibration to not only self but to the rest of the creation when he suggests that it is Ajuni Saibhag - the vibration itself doesn't come in the cycle of birth and death and self destruction. Nanak suggests that the vibration is found with guru's Grace - gaze of compassion.
To understand a PhD level concept,  you must have the prerequisites to be in that class.  Similarly,  to reach the gaze of compassion, you must develop compassion within you,  do actions fearlessly and without animosity. First of all you must try listening to the sound vibration within you that connects you to the self-healing powerful self that created your blueprint. The powerful self that is also part the whole creation.

God is light and technology is full of it

What is a plant attracted to?  Light.  A seed find its way to the light source.  Humans are not much different from plants.  Could it be that we are addicted to technology simply because these devices are made of glass that emits light?

In meditation as well,  the goal is to close your eyes and see the internal light.  First we reach the midbrain, the part of the brain that stimulates sound and light.
Many saints have described their spiritual experiences where they say God has a thousand eyes or that they heard a sound if thunder followed by other experiences. 
Our goal is to calm the mind and become an observer of the mind,  instead of the technology.  A bored mind is the most useful mind. Stop entertaining it.  Let it be bored.  This will lead to stillness,  followed by contemplation.  It's a higher function of the mind.  Watching is what we do all the time weather its YouTube or instagram. We have to take the mind to a higher function and superficial thinking is not the higher function.  It's your ego's way of fooling you in believing that you are busy and hence productive.
Don't let it fool you.  Being busy in mind is the worse thing.  Give yourself time to not do 10 things at a time.  Stop socialising.  They are not dependent on you.  Their happiness is not in liking your posts.  They don't exist for that purpose.  Nobody is following your story.  They are simply fooling themselves by keeping busy,  and believing that they are connected to others. 
To really connect with someone,  you need to disconnect and contemplate.  The same goes for the universe.  Relax by taking one deep breath.  That felt good.  Now take one more deep breath and notice your body relax more deeply.  Go drink one or two glasses of water,  visit the washroom,  if you need to before you sit down in a comfortable posture in a quiet place.  Turn off technology around you and the lights.  You need to enjoy the darkness first.  Then your mind will find a light source. That's it's innate ability to survive.  Let it find the light source and create images of all sorts.  Just watch the stories it tells you and the images it shows you.  Simply smile and let it go.  Do not get caught in any one thought or story your mind is generating to entertain you.  Your mind is your movie theatre.  You know that none of the scenes it's showing you are everlasting.  The movie will end and the show of your life will be over soon. Your eyes will be shut that day.  You will no longer be able to use your body to express how you feel, to the grieving family. How will you communicate then?  What would you be able to influence.  You will still exist and you will have access to the five raw elements that created life in the first place - air,  water, light,  earth and space.
Observe these elements now.  Understand and try to manipulate these in gentle ways using your breath. 
Air is the carrier of subtle things.
Water gives life and Earth holds it.
You need space to grow your thoughts and actions.
Light shows you direction.
These are your real friends.  Embrace them.  Listen to what they are saying.  

Science, marijuana and shiva’s fountain

Lod shiva, the hindu God is associated with marijuana. He is depicted in inages as wrapped in snakes at many points on his body. It is said that the biggest river of India, the river ganges comes from shivas head. This is the symbolic story describing the effects of having marijuana.
In short, marijuana relaxes the body muscles in stages. It has a delayed reaction time. About four hours after the.intake, the intensity of the drug is felt.
The marijuana users come our with some out of the box ideas because of the brain connectivity that increases with the intake. These users also show signs of lack of empathy. Utlimately, a study proves,  regular and heavy use shrinks the grey matter of the brain. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/nov/10/cannabis-smoking-brain-shrinks-increases-connectivity-study-texas
This study provides sone leads to follow on how it works, the subject of my enquiry. The reason for my enquiry is that it is said that in shiva tradition, marijuana is used to initially give a taste of a spiritual experience but ultimately you learn to have such experiences without the use of drug. My personal experience suggests that the spiritual experiences are far superior in quality and long term effect on wellveing than the drug induced effects. However, the drug used effect is similar in physical sensations it causes and the fact that you see visions. The negative conscequence is that the visions are not in your control at all. Every action depicted in the visions is very fast followed by multiplication of the image by several times. Before the images, one feels the pressure behind the base of the nose. Then you feel the energy going upwards, just like a fountain of energy towards the top of the headand then coming forward in between the two eyes. This is shivas real fountain. I wonder if it the result of extra activity caused in the trochlear nerve. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trochlear_nerve

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbitofrontal_cortex
When the muscles in the brain relax, brain starts to function faster. The THC stimulates the Tectum in the midbrain, responsible for visual and auditory function. Midbrain also has the four crainial nerves. When the midbrain relaxes, the flow of the cerebrospinal fluid must increase casing the sensation of energy rush from the base of the nose upwards.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midbrain
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superior_oblique_muscle

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_bone

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neural_crest
“the neural tube is the embryonic precursor to the central nervous system.”
 “the cells of the neural plate form a cord-like structure that migrates inside the embryo and hollows to form the tube.”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neural_tube

In deep meditation, you divide the body for focus on frontal axis and saggital axis.

Body has innate wisdom

Sit in meditation pose and start breathing. You hold tension in some specific areas of the body. Release the tension by focusing on the specific areas. Relax the forehead. Now release your cheekbones. Open your jaws and let the tension go. Release your neck, shoulders and armpits. Now loosen the whole area from head to shoulder blades.
With each breath, let the body temperature rise. Feel the soles of your feet and palms of your hands. Let them go on fire. Now let the fire roam free within your body, wherever it needs to go. It will cleanse the body within and remove unwanted rubbish just like bushfire does to grassland. Unleash the fire within and let it sweep across the body and  burn excess fat and other unrequired foods.

There are two energies that you work with to rejuvenate your body earth. Fire energy rises upwards from below. It’s also called kundalini energy. It is considered female energy. It moves in curves, like a snake and makes the hissing sound as well.
The second energy is the water energy that comes from above your head like a waterfall. It does not reside in your body but outside it. Imagine a cloud above your head. Let the cloud become rain and shower your whole body. Then bask in the glow of the rainbow and enjoy its colours. Somewhere in between these two experiences you will suddenly see a waterfall. Don’t be affraid if the body starts shaking heavily. It’s all an internal experience. Know that on the outside you are sitting very still. Nobody will know what you are experiencing. You are not looking embarrassing. Simply enjoy the experience. This experience is not your everyday experience. It’s a once off. Next time, there will be some other experience.
Don’t try to move from the fire to water meditation in one sitting. Let the Fire energy cleanse your body for a few days before you move to the next stage. Healing will happen during fire energy meditation. The body will have an urge to move ina certain way. Follow the direction of your body. I was doing my fire meditation today and I had the urge to move my arm straight with index finger pointing. I had a vision of my left hand doing it first and then the right. By the time I thought of following the vision, it was the turn of my right hand; so I raised my right hand and continue breathing fire while the hand was pointing upwards. I brought the arm downwards up to the shoulder level and raised it back up again and started going backwards, then up and then forward and down. I did the same with the left hand afterwards. I realised I had been complaining about the neck pain and this released the tension in the muscles under the armpit and below. This soothed the neck pain. I was not specifically meditating to fix the neck pain. I had actually forgotten I had it until after the body urged me to do the exercise that released the muscle tension that I realised why I did so.