One can't find God due to one's own efforts alone

P. 261 SGGS
Lekhe katah na chootiyai
Khin khin bhulanhar
Bashanhaar bakhash lai
Nanak par uttar.

Tudh bhavai tan bakhash leh
Khhote sang khare
Nanak bhavai parbraham
Pahan neer tare

If one tries to fix his karmas and find God, its is almost impossible to do so. Any righteous act that you will perform including the three Guru Nanak recommended - Kirat Karo, Vand Chhako te Naam Japo -honest living,  charity and meditate on God's name, will no doubt generate ego.

Simply getting rid of the EGO is a task in itself. There is always a danger of having a feeling that I do / don't do ..., therefore, I am better than others. EGO can be so subtle that it becomes difficult to be recognised. In the later stages of spiritual life, one thinks that they have been very cautious and have no ego. The moment your mind tells you that you have no ego, believe that you  have it.

When I was meditating everyday, I was upset with my husband because he wasn't. Somewhere in the subconscious, I was superior to him for that reason. It's only when the desire to meditate vanished for no apparent reason, that I realised that without God's grace one can't meditate, just because of their own effort. So I learnt to thank God everytime I have the longing to meditate and be one with God. This longing to meditate and to be able to meditate is a blessing, not a result of our own efforts alone. Without God's grace, meditation is merely a breathing exercise or an effort to control the mind's chattering.

As we are humans, we make mistakes all the time. Which of the past and present life karmas are we going to undo with our own efforts? Past life regression therapy deals with such issues. It takes several sessions to understand one aspect of a person's life and then more effort to accept things as they are and to forgive the perpetrator of the wrong deed. How many lifetimes would it take to undo all those Karmas that are a hinderance in your life?
You don't need to have done a certain amount of good deeds or to undo all past deeds to receive God's grace. You merely need to accept life as it is and be grateful for it. The most unfortunate event of your life might be the one that will actually highlight how lucky you are. It is generally when we are at the lowest point of our life that we think of God.

'Dukh Daru Sukh Rog Bhaya' is my favorite line of gurbani that has been so true in life.

Shalok, First Mehl:
Suffering is the medicine, and pleasure the disease, because where there is pleasure, there is no desire for God. You are the Creator Lord; I can do nothing. Even if I try, nothing happens. You are the True Lord and Master;

Your Praise is so beautiful. One who sings it, is carried across. Why praise God and how does the praise help carry one across? So what is the difference between God and the humans he has created. Everyone desires praise. I was wrong. God doesn't long for our praise. The true praise comes from the feeling of gratitude. (See a previous blog on Gratitude for more detail). When this feeling is generated, it expells the effect of all karmas, while we are feeling gratitude, and at this time you will have the Grace of God and a miracle will happen. Have you got any reason to feel gratitude towards God? I can only find a billion reasons, so far.

Meditating while the head is down causes depression.

I did read it somewhere to not bring the head down during meditation as it can cause depressive thoughts. Sometimes, when I am in the temple/ gurdwara, I don't like other people watching me, they probably don't, its just my perception; then I feel like lowering my head. this doesn't help but cause drowsiness and a week later depressive thoughts, I think.

I believe I am a really optimistic person generally but have caught myself saying really negative things. Did the search on 'pregnancy and deperession'. May be the meditation is merely bringing to surface what already exists deep down as mentioned in the forum http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2855oread

I liked Darko's post on this forum
"Belly breathing removes dissociation in 5 to 10 minutes. Relaxed belly breathing (diaphragmatic) increases the willingness to experience "that what is", even if it is pain or discomfort. That is why Tao-Masters teach to start and end every meditation in the lower "Dantien" (belly, hara, navel-center, etc...). By this means you can ground yourself deep in the body and go sure not to run away from unwanted thoughts and emotions but to feel "thru" it. To stay here and now, in the present moment. Shallow chest-breathing has exactly the opposite effect."

Is Astral travel one of the 18 sidhies?

I think it is.
Found this site on personal experiences about astral travel.
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/threads/th_astrl.html

Have you done astral travel or are curious about it? I didn't find it as great as experiencing the jewels within the body. To me astral travel was more because of my desire to travel somewhere and take revenge from a certain person as I felt this rage due to being cheated and someone using my spiritual energy without my permission. I couldn't have physically travelled to the faraway place where the person had moved to but my souls desire to get even caused the experience which didn't give me long term bliss.

So after this experience, I never intended to do it again. But reading some of the pages, I suspect that in almost every meditation those visions that I see are related to out of body experiences. But what is the point of knowing what the day entails if I can't change any of it? The only thing I can do is Ardas / prayer to protect me if its not in my favour and recognise the moment in real life which I was made aware of in the dream or meditation. It helps a little bit but not to a great extent whereas if you just do meditation to meet your Guru or Waheguru, its much more fruitful as I end up with a feeling of Bliss that lasts for days and also the blessings that I receive change my life for the better, in a profound way.

Like the Guru says don't run after the Ridhis and Sidhis, they run after the person that meditates. None-the-less, reading about such extra-ordinary experiencing is exciting and encouraging. Here are a few more sites
http://www.theartofastralprojection.com/blog/out-of-body-experiences-interpretation
http://www.theartofastralprojection.com/

Sukhmani Sahib

Today the line 'Char Padarath Kamal Pragas' struck my attention at Sukhmani Sahib path at the gurdwara. 'Sikhi to the Max' website translated Char Padarath as the four cardinal blessings. What are these four blessings? I tried to find the meaning in the Bhai Sahib Singh's translation. It didn't help. It said they were Dharma, Kaam, Mokh and something else. It didn't make much sense to me.

khaem saa(n)th ridhh nav nidhh ||

Comfort, peace and tranquility, wealth and the nine treasures;

budhh giaan sarab theh sidhh ||

wisdom, knowledge, and all spiritual powers;

bidhiaa thap jog prabh dhhiaan ||

learning, penance, Yoga and meditation on God;

giaan sraesatt ootham eisanaan ||

The most sublime wisdom and purifying baths;

chaar padhaarathh kamal pragaas ||sabh kai madhh sagal thae oudhaas ||

the four cardinal blessings, the opening of the heart-lotus;

in the midst of all, and yet detached from all;

su(n)dhar chathur thath kaa baethaa ||

beauty, intelligence, and the realization of reality;

samadharasee eaek dhrisattaethaa ||

to look impartially upon all, and to see only the One

eih fal this jan kai mukh bhanae || gur naanak naam bachan man sunae ||6||

these blessings come to one who, through Guru Nanak, chants the Naam with his mouth, and hears the Word with his ears. ||6|| http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=1084 I was searching for what are the nine treasures and found this blog post which is useful but am not sure of others. http://kamalroopsingh.blogspot.com/2010/05/peepaa-peepaa-kaayo-dhaevaa-kaaeiao.html Why can't we stop ourselves from praising the Sargun saroop? A blogpost just above this one on the same blog is Doing Arti of Guru Nanak. I don't think Guru Nanak would ever approve of people praising him instead of the formless creator, the Nirankar. Here is another blog I just found, http://www.neo-sikhism.blogspot.com/ I am so glad there are people trying to keep the Sikhs on the right track . Copied below is the bit from the above blog. Wednesday, 20 April 2011 An attempt to take the warrior tradition out of the Sikh Panth The Panj Baniya read when a Sikh takes amrit to join the Khalsa, and become a Singh and Kaur are: Japji, Jaap, Sudh Svaiye, Chaupai, and Anand Sahib. Then the Ardas from Chandi di var is read. This means that 3 out 5 baniya are from the Dasam Granth plus the Ardas.

Inquisitive

On my way to work, there were a billions questions in mind.
Why have these souls chosen to be my children, especially this last one? What is the background of these souls? What could they see attractive, when I am such a useless parent?

What is the purpose of my life? Am I fulfilling it? It seems I have become spiritually aware and yet useless for earthy duties. I have failed in so many homely duties, cos I keep using that time for spiritual benefit.

How is one suppose to obtain balance? A few days ago, when I shamefully asked for money in ardaas after completing 20 Japji Sahib paths in 2 days, to buy the property that my husband wants to buy, I felt so guilty for asking anything other than naam. I did it cos I want to continue feeling secure with finances, as I am, to help me keep focusing on my spiritual path. I hate debt and my husband was adamant that he wanted it, no matter how much debt he gets into. Knowing that with that much debt I won't be able to meditate peacefully, not worrying about the worldly matters distracted me so much that I couldn't do any simran, after asking for money,as if I didn't even know what it was. Simran suddenly became the hardest thing in the work. I knew I had asked for the wrong thing. Usually I look forward to when I can wake up in  the early hours, when the family is asleep, to have the time for myself with the formless. That is the most precious time of my life.

Today at Sukhmani sahib path at Gurdwara, I noticed the 23rd Astpadi

Nau Nidh Amrit Prabh ka naam , more later

Now it must be time to learn this astral technique. If I could learn this, there would be so much I can finish reading that is on my list but no time to read. I would be reading all night if I could Read a book with eyes closed

Divine experiences and young age

It is often that when we are young, we have other goals in life but because of my own childhood experience, I believe that if a child is asked to meditate with the adults, they have experiences quicker than adults. Partly it may be because children are not preoccupied with so many useless thoughts. The story of Druv and Prahlaad confirm that children can successfully meditate. Then why do we hesitate as parents, from involving children in our meditation sessions. Is it the fear of childs initial resistance? Yes, it requires an effort in persuading them but once they do sit down and meditate, it is facinating listening to what they experienced.

I read somewhere that children's brain up to the age of 13 /14 naturally vibrates at Alpha frequency between 8-14 cycles per second, compatible for meditation; as opposed to the adults who generally vibrate at Beta frequency of 14-38HZ.The link here mentions various Brainwaves and their connection to consciousness http://www.hirnwellen-und-bewusstsein.de/brainwaves_1.html

Generally, people don' t seriously think of meeting God until they are near the death bed. This due to our belief that we encounter God and his Court to see a balance of our good and bad deeds only after death. If we hadn't heard of justice in God's court based on deeds / karma, we probably won't even be concerned about other beings and their feelings and concerns.

The fact, according to the bhagats and their bani written in the Guru Granth Sahib ji, is that the spiritual person is not primarily concerned / scared about the consequences after death. The reason for meditation by a spiritual soul is to know the Absolute Truth / the creator / the invisible and formless God, first out of curiosity and later due to bond of love that they have developed. It does reach the stage of obsession I would say, for if for any reason you are distracted in life and can't meditate and reach the stage where they feel that personal bond, they feel the same as a person whose personal relationship is falling apart.

For those who wish to have such personal bond with God while they are living, like it should be, as one
Bhagat Namdev says -
Mooeae hooeae jo mukath dhaehugae mukath n jaanai koeilaa

If You liberate me after I am dead, no one will know that I am liberated.

Guru Arjan Dev ji writes
Raaj n chaaho mukath n chaaho man preeth charan kamalaarae

I do not seek power, and I do not seek liberation. My mind is in love with Your Lotus Feet.

Breham mehaes sidhh mun ei(n)dhraa mohi t(h)aakur hee dharasaarae

Brahma, Shiva, the Siddhas, the silent sages and Indra - I seek only the Blessed Vision of my Lord and Master's Darshan.


http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=2050

Meditation experiences are not random

It might seem that the experiences are random but they are not. They are based on our deepest desires that our conscious mind may not be aware of at the time of the experience. So be mindful of what you spend your time on. Whatever, we engage in and notice during the day, slowly helps build our beliefs about how this world operates and also our desires are generated accordingly.

If you haven't heard of or read about the physical/ manifested and the spiritual/ the unseen word coexisting at the same time, you will find it hard to believe that you can seek help from the beings floating in the spiritual realm.

The ying yang theory explains the two worlds clearly. It says that in the physical beings there is a tiny portion of spiritual stuff and within the spiritual beings there is a tiny bit of physical matter. But if deep down you do not believe in the existence of spiritual world, then how can you have the desire to meet and take knowledge from these helpful beings? No wonder, you will not have these experiences and again, not having these experiences will confirm your original belief that they don't exist. This is why you have to explore yourself first to realize that it's our own limiting beliefs that stop us from experiencing a new life. This philosophy can also be applied to other desires that we have. If you for any reason believe that it can't possibly happen, then it simply won't happen for you. But that doesn't stop others from experiencing life in a different way. Therefore you can give money to a poor person but that won't make him rich forever,until the person starts believing that this money is sufficient to change his life. The reason we read other peoples success stories is to change our belief system, so we can be as successful. So engaging myself in reading Books and watching YouTube videos of others who seem to have less barriers of belief helped me re-evaluate my beliefs.
It is not easy to let go of beliefs that are not serving any useful purpose in your life.
T

Your breath - a poking stick or an expanding dot

Gurbani says,
Dhun mai dyan - focus on the rhythm / sound of the mantra

Dhyan mei janya - while in focus, you will know God

Pavan Guru - your breath is the master leading you.

So the things to focus on during meditation are the sound and the breath. First the SOUND calms your thoughts. You can choose any mantra / word for this purpose. I choose to do the whole Moolmantra these days, as my mind is not focused easily with Waheguru in the first 10-15 min. I use to say the Moolmantra or the Gurmantra on each chakra point with the incoming breath but these days, its too much hard work, for some reason.

After I am settled a bit, I go on to Waheguru mantra. I say it and listen to what I am saying.The slowly I don't feel like saying it anymore, I just focus on breathing and listen to the Waheguru without saying it. Slowly just focus on the breath, where in the body is it penetrating?

There are two methods, budhhists say just watch your breath, don't try to alter it in any way. Pranayama yogis say to use the breath as a poking stick to awaken the chakras, so it is coming from the back of the body and pierce the chakra and go to the front of the body. Both methods are useful, depending on your focus on the day.

Another method I like is to contract your breath to the point of a dot in the centre of your body and then expand it to touch the walls of the room and beyond. This is great method to feel your etheric body.

Then imagine a silver piece of string coming from above your crown chakra, all the way down into the earth, as if dividing your whole body into two equal parts but you are hanging on this piece of string with your legs crossed. When you focus this way, you don't have to worry about falling asleep, as the string keeps your body in balance and back straight and head in right position.

Once you are calm, focused and comfortable with this string, just observe your breath and wait for something that might happen but don't be too sure that it will happen. Gurbani says,
Asa vich niras valai -
Desire and hope but don't expect the magic to happen for sure. It may or may not happen depending on the Almighty. Samuel Sagan says its beautifully - if you don't expect it, then surely nothing will happen.

According to the site http://www.spiritual.com.au/articles/witchcraft/magick-5-chakras-meditation-phansford.htm

The first chakra, located at the base of the spine at the perineum is the *root chakra*, muladhara. It primarily relates to the element of earth and to psychic smell.

The second chakra, known as the *sacral center*, svadhisthana, is located above and behind the genitals. Its dominant element is water, and it is related to psychic taste.

Third of the chakras is the *solar plexus*, manipura, located at the navel and corresponding with the emotions and with the element of fire; also with psychic sight (clairvoyance).

The *heart chakra*, anahata, is the fourth chakra, located over the heart and corresponding with the element of air, and also with psychic touch.

The fifth chakra is the *throat chakra*, vishuddha, located at the base of the throat (thyroid) and corresponding with psychic hearing (clairaudience).

The remaining two chakras are very important. They relate mostly to elevated states of consciousness. The *frontal chakra*, (or 'third eye') ajna, the sixth chakra, is located between, and slightly above, the eyebrows. Ajna is the center of psychic powers and can produce many psychic effects. Meditation on ajna is said to cure nervousness.

Finally, the *crown chakra*, sahasrara, located atop the head, (pineal gland) is the seventh chakra. It is referred to as the thousand-petaled lotus and corresponds with astral projection and enlightenment.

Guru ji-

Which guruji was that with a bright orange palla around his neck? I asked, is it Guru Angad dev ji? But how do I know? Then I saw Guru Teg Bahadur Sahib ji. I recognized the lota he kept near him. I saw three wavey lines with a dot on top. I think, it's another way of writing Om - meaning God. I asked him, how did he take the trouble to give me darshan when I was sleeping, not even doing nam simran lying down? I asked him to speak to me, as I have trouble understanding. Then the gurbani lines automatically came in my mind -
Kaho Nanak Jin Braham Pachata
Prab Sahib Ka Tin Bhed Jata.

Then I saw Guru Nank dev ji and the Ek- Onkar symbol written over his body, covering his whole body. I kept asking the guru to give me some instruction or tell me something. What does it all mean?

Did it indicate that Guru Nanak and the Nirankar are one and the same? I know Sikhs already say this as so do some shabads, probably the vaaran written by Bhai Gurdas ji etc. And I know I have my doubts as Guru Nanak Dev ji himself showed me that Nirankar was massive and in comparison Nanak looked just like a common old villager.

My memory went back to the day I was over-emotional and asked Guru Nanak if he would ever come for me like he did for Babe Nanaki? I had thought that day and many other times - what karma did these ladies do to deserve to have such personal relationship with the greatest Guru of this world? And what kind of karma have I done that it took me 500 year to take this human life to hear about them and my great Guru' s bani. I must be a very lowly soul, otherwise I could have been one of those bad people, that he went to teach the right way. I see even Noorshah, Sajjan thug and Malik Bhago as better and fortunate souls that the Guru himself came to see, let alone the fortune of Bhai Mardana who had the pleasure yo spend so many years alone with the Guru. I probably was some unknown insect that didn' t get to see the Guru in his physical body and hear his message from his own mouth. I have often wondered how beautiful would Guru Nanak sing and how powerful his Aura would be to stop an angry mob holding rocks to hit him to death for singing in the cemetery who ended up mesmerized by his singing. I wasn' t even there to listen to my Guru's singing. Where was I, the unfortunate one? That was in mid Nov 2010.