E-motions are the driving force

Your emotions are the driving force that govern your body. To control the physical body and its diseases, you need to understand your emotions - what emotions are you feeling and what is causing them? A simple meditation - sit quietly with your eyes closed and ask yourself, "Why am I upset? What emotion am I feeling? What part of the body is the emotion sitting in? Make a cup shape with your hand and hold that part of the body with it, if it helps to relieve the discomfort.
Ask for guidance in relieving the negative emotion by transforming it into a less negative emotion and eventually into a positive emotion. A positive emotion gives you energy and drive to work with passion and live with happy energy. A negative emotion sucks the happiness and the drive to create motion.
The cause of the negative emotion is always a change in life that we didn't fully accept. Know one powerful fact. God is ever-changing. God is not static. God is continuous and to be so, God has to be ever-changing. Guru Granth Sahib says,"Sahib mera neat navan". God is forever new.
So don't expect life to say the way you are comfortable with it. Change always brings some degree of challenge and fear with it. Loving the change is not always easy, especially when it's not the desired change. Know the degrees of each emotion to understand to what level you are coping with the forever changing life. More times than not, we are stuck in a situation that affected us long time ago that we didn't accept. The change that we regretted. To ease the dis-ease we need to slowly accept the change and move the focus to a newer aspect of that change that brings hope. Hope makes it easier to get along with the unacceptable. Slowly we start to love the change. love is God and Loce is life. The perfect condition that started life itself. Unconditional love is better than love. Love has expectations attached to it and sooner or later some of those expectation with be unfulfilled causing pain and suffering. No expectation but hope of a better change and doing whatever is in your control to bring that change helps rather than moaning about what is not in your control. You are part of God that is going to bring positive change and that you can only do if you first learn that life is forever changing and you are part of that change. Despite that there is a limit to what you can change within you and all you need to do is slowly push that limit and expand your capacity to bring a happy change for the universe. Always remember that whatever you do will be returned three folds, so engage in bringing happiness to someone else and it will be returned three folds.
Know that all secrets to this universe are hidden in your body. Know your body and your breath. Learn to understand the breath before you learn to control it. Watch where it is coming from and where it's going. Use it to relieve discomfort and to heal. Your breath will guide you to the light where you will start to see in the darkness. Focus on what you are interested in than being confused by the scattered energy. Focus will help you change one thing at a time and make you feel accomplished. Happiness is accomplishment. Make a small goal that is achievable by you to make this place better than it was. You are the creative force God created to bring change. Be useful. God is relaying on you. Don't let him down. Control your e-motions and give them the right direction.

Healing depression with sun moon meditation

I was reading 'Te witches eight paths of power' by Sable Aradia and as per my habit, I went to the last few pages and started scanning Exercise on drawing down Sun and Moon. I didn't understand much as it wasn't what I was expecting based on my knowledge if Saint Kabir's mention of Sun and moon in the body. So I decided to relax in the bathtub and do my own meditation there. I have never felt so depressed as I was from last few months but only realised today that I might actually be sliding into real depression. I am very good at getting the disease of the people I wish to help heal. I have a few people in suffering depression that I empathise with. I may have picked up their negative energy and combined with my own issues, the problem may have escalated further. So I decided to heal myself.

I drew two circles around my body, both moving in opposite direction at almost same speed. As always I forgot to draw a mesh if protection before calling for a personal deity to appear to guide me. I don't believe in any deities but left myself open to whatever will happen next. Then I quickly drew a spiky outer shell for protection, outside the two circles and also a vertical energy going straight down to remove any negative energy of my own or of any mischievous entity that may have entered my aura while I wasn't protected.

I focused again on the revolving circles of sun and moon energy asked the deity to show up and heal me. To my surprise the deity was my father. I was surprised and asked if he hasn't incarnated already into a new body. He said,"No" as if he was saying that he wasn't here to answer that question and I understood not to ask any further questions about that.

I focused on my issues and asked to heal my head, neck, shoulders, nerves and bones. Then I moved to heart, liver, intestines, stomach, gal badder, bladder, womb. The energy focused on the liver. It wanted to heal the liver. I asked what emotion is it. It replied 'Anger'. I said, "Heal my anger and turn it into love. As I said love it corrected me and said heal the anger and turn it into fear, heal the fear and turn it into Hope and hope into unconditional love. Then I started feeling the focus on the right side oppose the heart and I receive the words Heal with Grace and Respect upon asking for the reason for the Anger and the reason was Insult that I had felt at work. The grace and respect were necessary to bring unconditional love. I repeated the three words while the body was being healed - Grace, Respect And Unconditional Love. I drew reiki sign to further heal  the spots and thanked my deceased father for appearing for help, guidance and healing. I feel better than this morning.

Internal movie- posture, light, sound and love

breathe
Chant mantra (any set of words)
Combine the breath with the sound of mantra
Feel the subtle nerve channel under your right eye, running down the cheek to the jawbone.
Relax the cheek bone and jaw.
The nerve runs behind the right ear and down the neck, so relax it by breathing in to that area.
Listen to loud sounds, then slowly lower the sound while the listening becomes better.
Get absorbed in the sound
Lower sounds are felt in the body and head
Midrange sounds are more resonant
Higher sounds make you see sparkling, luminescent light
Become the sound

You may feel a tingling on the soft palate.
Stop chanting loud but continue internal chant to go with the breath
Visualise the breath moving through your body
Change your mood to peaceful and relaxed
If tired, take energising breath and visualise each breath giving you energy and motivation to continue

SEE
Watch the light and dark within the body
Is there any movement? Is it circular, vertical or horizontal?
Keep watching the light. Is the light and shade changing?
Note the gradation between light and darkness
Watch the luminescence and dullness
Are there any colours you can see?
Which part of the body are you focused on?


FEEL the love coming from the light
Move into the light
Become the light

I recall my father was meditating in the middle of the day. I must have disturbed him by walking into that room. He gently opened his eyes. He has an unusual smile on his face as if he was in bliss. 'God is light' he said to me in a very convinced voice. That moment he puzzled me as I had never thought of God as light until then. I stopped and waited for him to explain further but he was too satisfied from his meditation experience and did not want to utter another word. It felt like time around him had stood still. I understood, I was not to disturb his bliss in solitude

India and racism

India and discrmibation go hand in hand. Most western only see India as a spiritual country that gave yoga and non-violence movement to the world. They don't understand the history of discrimination in  this religious country. It starts with Manu, a scholar whose writing date back to some date in BC that women should be treated like one's animal. You must keep them in control and if they don't follow what they are told, they should be bashed. Even though most people have never read it, this philosophy is well practiced in daily life by many. (When a victim of domestic violence tries to leave her husband, the new trend is to throw bleach on her face and body, so she looks so ugly that nobody goes near her.) The detailed article and discussion on manusmriti can be read here. The discussion by people will reveal that it is believed that original manusmriti respected women, but later someone added verses to benefit the masculine world and the women whose husband died starting suffering at the hands of other men.
With Sidhartha's enlightenment came Buddhist religion. When Buddhism starting rising, Hindus starting killing them. Buddhism has much the same values as Hinduism except the idol worship. It was shunned from India and it flourished in the neighbouring countries more. Same is now happening with Sikhs. They are being targeted because of their religion, the very religion that came as a response to eradicate the corrupt practices in Hinduism.

The original Hindu religion believed in caste based on one's occupation and many members of the same family belonged to different castes but this system changed overtime and it became a persons identity and a determinant of one's status in the society. Hindus have forgotten this but their Vedas reveal this fact. Hindu society marries within their caste based on the family they are born into. This is much like the royals of England marrying other royals system to keep expanding one's wealth and rule. This led to wealthy became wealthier through family ties and that's how marriage became a financial enrichment affair instead of a matter of heart.
Nanak became frustrated with the society where common people were dying of hunger due to a famine that destroyed their crops (shortage of Food) while the Muslim ruler had his stores filled with the grains they needed. Nanak was the store keeper. He didn't like the difference of haves and have nots. He recited Tera Tera, meaning everything is yours divine and kept filling everyone's containers when another employee complained about Nanaks actions and pointed out that he is giving a lot more for their buck. When the stocktake was done, it all balanced, much to the surprise of the complainant but this didn't satisfy Nanak. He gave his resignation and walked out on the society's unjust division. He was 33 years old at the time. He went missing for three days. On the third day, the search party found Nanak coming out of the river and the first words he spoke were 'nobody is Hindu and nobody is Muslim'. Nanak had declared that humans should be treated as humans and not identified by their religion, sex or caste. He then became the founder of Sikh religion stood against inequalities and injustices. He spoke in favour of women's rights and against religious exploitation. He advocated that every capable person should contribute to the society and earn an honest living out of which to give to the needy but not seek welfare because one is immersed in  religious practices, like in Hinduism and Buddhism.

Time and time again Sikhs stood to protect Hindu's but time and time again the Hindu governments have fuelled campaigns to exterminate Sikhs, a minority religion; so India could become a predominantly Hindu country. It's only problem is that there are too many Muslims in the country as well. A handful of Christians that are in the country are also persicuted.

A wave of racism in the world

Discriminating and favouritism are the two enemies of humanitarianism. Discriminating  against someone because of their race is racism, because of sex is sexism. Discriminating in favour of someone due to their nationality is nationalism, on the basis of belonging to  a region, is regionalism, giving someone a job for belonging to their own family is nepotism, voting mindlessly based on a party without appreciating the particular promises or results they bring in to the area is party politics.  What is the name given to discriminating based on wealth? Never mind, the point is we discriminate on many levels, all the time but the worst kind of discrimination still remains the one called racism. It affects people on a personal level, lowers their morale, trust in other humans and ultimately the desire to live. The death of a 13 year old Sikh boy who recently took his life after writing a poem about him being bullied because of his different appearance in United States of America shows the damage being done by the speeches of Donald Trump and that kind of ideology. This is an example of racism by white people but USA is not the only racist country. South America has always been the playing field of worst kind of racism since the times of imperialism. Now they are trying to correct the balance of wealth by having some systemic changes like 50:50 black and white partnership in a company for it to operate in that country that is not being seen in positive light by those whites who own those companies from generations and still see blacks as mentally and racially inferior.

After 9/11 event in September 2001, the world did change a lot. It became tough to announce once self openly as a Muslim but Muslims in western countries do not wear a turban or a towel like Seikhs of Middle East. Instead, it's the people of Sikh religion, a minority religion from India, who wear a turban as their religious costume. For that visual reason and the ignorance people about what Sikhs stand for, they are the main target of racism in USA since 9/11. 

The hatred towards the turban and the Taliban of Afganistan extended to Australia, thanks to the Murdock media and the politicians. Sikhs from Woolgoolga, a little town in mid north coast, like John Singh Arkan were forced to look in the mirror and remind themselves of their skin colour reminded and their past heritage for the first time. These people had been fooling themselves as Australian for their grand parents came to Australia in late 1800s and a lot of these baby boomers were given Aussie names and were well accepted in the society until the 9/11 event. It was psychologically depressing for people like him to be staired at because of his turban. "But I am a true blue Aussie, this town has known me from yonks, then why were they starring at me?" Asked John, the John that use to stand as an Aussie and criticise Indian habits of these freshies that came from India and tried to outsmart the Aussies like him. As his wife from India, I coped a lot of  'You Indians ....' and I hated it.

Twenty years later, I go on Facebook for some entertainment and instead see the posts of Sikhs being humiliated in public. A turban being taken off forcibly and a young man of 19 years of age being dragged by his hair in the street while 5-7 people are walking with the man dragging the victim through the traffic, all in support of the perpetrator. Nobody rescues the Sikh man. My blood boils but what can I do while living in Australia? 

I already boycotted India since the gang rape and later death of a girl in the public transport bus when she was coming back from the movies with her boyfriend after watching the movie 'Life of Pi'. She was thrown out of the moving bus after the rape. It wasn't the last incident of gang rape. Rape of women seems to be becoming a common practice and their is no police or justice system protecting these women or punishing the guilty. 

21 Things to do in life

What do you like doing before and after work? Try the following to become one with yourself by getting lost in the chosen activity. Enjoy the pleasure of doing only one thing at a time and becoming one with it.

• Grow a garden
• Go for a swim
• Measure the vast sky
• Read some poetry
• Write in your diary
• Play a musical instrument
• Sing out loud
• Dance a little
• Do some yoga
• Meditate
• Play with children
• Cook a healthy meal
• Appreciate different colours
• Support your partner
• Do what you do best
• Enjoy likeminded company
• Travel short and long distances
• Have a vision for a peaceful future
• Help someone today without matching DNA
• Do something to build a sense of community
• Promote peace and love to receive joy and bliss

Connect with yourself first before you can connect with others. 

Do some physical work, before you can truly enjoy a relaxing activity. 

Read some great works before you learn to write and articulate something.

Make some music before you learn to appreciate silence.

Experience peace of mind before you envisage peace in the society.

Community relations is the answer

The world is in a very grim situation. We have become so lowly human beings.
How many centuries have we been torturing each other in the name of colour and creed? Has it solved any of our problems? If not, then how is the current mania that Donald Trump is advocating about 'the snake and the lady' only looking after 'our kind' and 'my DNA sequence', the black and white, the refugees and us going to help anything? On the other side is this BEE rules of South Africa. Balance is the key to all problems, not leaning on one side so far that it brings the humanity down.
It seems that we just like to hate someone or something. First we divide in the name of black and white, then religions, then political parties and classes of people. Look at India where minority religious people like Sikhs and Christians are being tortured daily and government seems to be protecting the perpetrators. If it wasn't so, people wouldn't be doing it so openly. Videos posted on social media are the proof. Is anyone interested in chasing these people taking law in their hands? That's not all.
The average people are raping women and girls like it was their right. Where is the law, the international media and pressure to stop that? The killing of female foetus in the womb doesn't seem to bother the international community either. This very community tells the world that they are non-violent nation with Gandhi being the father of their nation.
In Muslim nations, they are killing each other in the name of Shia and Sunni. Then they go on raping their own boys while keeping the women covered. There is an ABC documentary showing just how widespread the problem of raping young poor boys in Pakistan is. This is not all. There are wealthier old men terrorising the poor families when they refuse to marry their young daughters to these much much older men. ISIS is raping girls as little as eight years old.

Is the west any better? Are there not any issues of domestic violence and child abuse in this community? Then who are we trying to blame when our own fathers, siblings and  even grandchildren are now abusing us? Internet has all the proof of how far we have fallen as human beings.
We just want our way even if that way is wrong. We hold the beliefs that divide from each other and make us not care for the other because someone had been cunning enough to make us believe that the other person's needs and feelings don't matter. 
When we get to know someone personally, as a friend or have marital relations with a person from another race or religion, we suddenly develop tolerance for that race. Similarly, only when we have a member of the family with a disability, mental illness or chronic disease; we understand the situation of those in it.
It doesn't suit when a rich person living a happy comfortable life comments on what other people should or shouldn't do unless they have had some personal experience in that situation. If you are only helping someone based on same skin colour or religion then that's not humane action. That's biased action.
How can we rise from this? When Guru Nanak had to make the decision, he chose a worthy person to       takeover the Guruship instead of his own sons; giving the example that kinship shouldn't come in the way when you are on the road to build a strong community. Share your profits with the needy, not with black or white, Christian or non-Christian, eastern or western. When you do a good act, the receiver also forwards the goodness to another needy person in time and goodness continues. Similarly biased acts also travel. Each individual has to decide what they are here to promote regardless of what the society is doing. The monstrous actions of others don't mean you have to participate in that wave of hate. Start something good today. The world needs a lot more kindness to overcome the negativity being promoted today to gain political power around the world.

Happiness is a sense of accomplishment

Look back at your own life and see when in life did you feel happy. If this is difficult, simply look at the moments that make you unhappy? Is it When you feel off balance, when you feel that life is not in control? It many also be that you feel others don't love you but really love is when you receive caring attention. You can give this caring attention to yourself. Most people know how to give themselves physical care but forget about the emotional and mental care. Mental care is also not so difficult. It involves having a positive attitude, a belief that you can accomplish your dreams and then making a plan to achieve them. A lot of successful people will tell you that that's how they achieved success.

This begs the question, what is success? Success is simply achieving your goal. Whatever that goal may be. Most people's goal is to make a lot of money, so much that they can share it with the world to make it a better place but who says that more money in a lot of people's hands will make this world a better place, a happier place? If money hasn't made the richest of the rich happy, how can it work for you? It never has and never will because the sense of accomplishment is a short lived feeling. The moment you achieve one thing, you desire to achieve another bigger and better version of the same. If you have one job, you want a better paying job next time. It even goes for people who already have a beautiful partner but after 20 years of living with the same partner diminishes the sense of achievement and they suddenly fall in love with another beautiful person. This kind of situation does not reflect on either of the partners but on the person's need for accomplishment.

The root cause is the need for a sense of accomplishment. This can be addressed simply by creating a daily routine where you keep yourself engaged in tasks that not only take care of your physical accomplishments but your mental and emotional accomplishments. The Daily Prayer is a method created by most spiritual people to take care of our emotional needs. When we believe that God loves us and is looking out for us, that need for a physical being loving us lessens. When we do a daily prayer early in the morning, we feel centered, in control and in balance emotionally. Doing the prayer  also ticks a box in the list of accomplishments. This creates self-respect and self-love and ticks a box in the list of mental accomplishments. When you feel emotionally and mentally happy, you have extra energy to achieve physically and therefore you are more likely to succeed on the physical plane.

So congratulations to those who accomplish through Daily Prayer and help make themselves and the world a happier place daily. Your sense of accomplishment when you finish doing your prayers, creates a belief in you that you can achieve other goals throughout the day. It also reduces the need to seek approval of others. You are confident and centered.

God is not in the peripheral , but in the centre of everything. God is with you every moment you live and breathe. Your relationship to your God and your daily prayer decides the quality of your life. What kind of relationship do you have with your personal God? Is it loving, caring and encouraging?

Combining 'I am' and Guru Nanak's 'Moolmantra'

God is one
I am God

God is truth
I am truth

God is the creator
I am a creator

God is fearless
I am fearless

God has no animosity
I have no animosity

God is timeless
I am timeless ( soul is timeless)

God does not come in the cycle of birth and death
I am beyond birth and death cycle. I can choose birth and death as I please?

God is continuous.
I am forever?

God is found with the grace of a spiritual guide
I follow the inner guidance?

Try living the above and see how much you succeed.

Prison of beliefs

Our parents try to install their beliefs into us. They create an image of God for us to keep us from being naughty. Monster God is a useful tool to curb our desires to acquire things that belong to others. Parents have authority over us and God has authority over everything else. Same way the poor are controlled by the belief that one day they will be rewarded for not revolting against their poverty created by the rich who control the worlds resources. Some prisoners escape these beliefs and engage in anti-social ways to acquire the means to get their way. These are the only people the rich are scared of that leads to the existence of police, law and justice system. They are all created to protect the rich from loosing their wealth. Then some clever mind thought of the word charity and welfare. These are also but ways to keep people from revolting against the rich occupying all the wealth and natural resources of the earth. Since God is the creation of rich to control poor, they don't want to tax their own Churches etc because that's where they hide their black money. Churches and temples are just meeting places for recreation purposes.God has no real place in the materialistic world.

These were my thoughts until one day I heard the news that my father died. I cried uncontrolably, I screamed, I ran like a mad person. I felt my tummy churn. I didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to talk to anyone. He was only 62 and I was 26 with a one year old baby. I didn't know what else to do, so I took out my prayer book and did some prayers for my dead father. I didn't know how else to connect with him and send him love. As per my father's desire which he had shared with me when I was in college, I called some religious brothers from the community to do a singing session for his soul. I sat in the back of the prayer hall at the gurdwara / temple. With my eyes closed, I remembered my father and complained with a heavy heart, " You died without giving any notice to me, so I couldn't visit you in the last moments of your life. Come now, attend this prayer that I have organised for your soul." To my surprise, he came within a few minutes. With my eyes closed, I saw his smiley face and head only, flying through the air. He was so happy. He bowed to the scriptures, as per the gurdwara rules, turned around and said, "You called me, so I have come, but I can't stay any longer. There is a very important function happening for me elsewhere and I have to be there." He rolled away.

Three years went past, it felt like my shield had been lost and I was being attacked from every direction. The relationships with in-laws fell apart, who in turn tried to reck my relationship with the only man that could be my support, my husband. My little child was my only light in life who came one day demanding that he wanted his own brother because the Aunty next door didn't let this 3 and half year old child pick up her new born baby. He was furious, "Mum, I want my own baby brother to pick up." I fell pregnant but relationship didn't improve. I was on one side and the rest of the family on the other. So alone, one day I walked under the mango trees in the backyard and cried so hard. "I will leave them all and go somewhere else to live. So what if they won't let me take my son with me, I will go while I am pregnant and I will have this baby." I convinced myself. "Don't go, you won't be able to look after this baby alone.", said this invisible male voice, so close to my ear. Why not, I wondered but no reply came. I suspected something wasn't right with the baby that will be born. Deep down, I didn't want to leave my husband because he was the only person I still loved and wished this baby could do the magic of bringing my husband closer to me again.

The baby was born. " Why don't any of my children have your eyes?, I said in frustration. I love my husbands eyes. Nonetheless, I was happy my family was complete. "Can you believe we have two boys now!" Said my husband while taking me out of the birthing room. "It would have been a balanced family if this child was a girl but anyway it's a boy now", I thought.

A few hours later the doctor came and threw her bomb of words. "Your baby is Down syndrome", she said. She kept talking, probably trying o console me but I had turned deaf after hearing those words, even thought I didn't know exactly what they meant. That must mean he is severely mentally challenged, I had assumed. My husband had gone home by then. I cried alone. Why me? I have never done anything wrong to anyone, then why me. My husband came and we cried together again and again. The specialist came later and threw another bomb, "The baby has a hole in the heart." He must have his open heart surgery within four months or he will die before he turns one.

The day came for his operation. They took the baby for anaesthetics and we were left standing in a room with lots of cards from parents hanging on the walls thanking the doctors for trying to save their baby. Some successful stories and others where the baby didn't survive the operation. Oh God, I hadn't even contemplated about the second option before. I was thinking it was a great day for my baby..... Oh, I couldn't bare the thought that the baby might not survive the operation.
I went in my room, opened my prayer book and started praying. I didn't know what else to do. The operation was six hours long and I had fallen asleep within first hour.
In my sleep, I heard a voice, not my voice, saying if this child dies on the operation theatre, you will not be blamed for his death and then you can have another child that will be normal and you can live a normal life. It was a proposal, needing my consent. A proposal that shocked me. Such a  lowly proposal in bargain for a normal life? How can I get an innocent life loose his right to live, in exchange for my luxury of a 'normal' life. With tears rolling down my eyes, I begged, "Give this child his life back, and I promise to never complain about him not being normal."

Three days later, when they reduced the amount of morphene and other medications being given though the big machines, the tiny body covered with pipes started to come alive. We had just returned from a trip in the open air and as I entered the room, my baby saw me coming in the room and looked straight into my eyes and took his arm out of the white sheet covering his bare body, and threw it towards me. It shook us all. Never before had this child made eye contact with anyone, he didn't know how to and he didn't have so much control on his muscles to pull his hand out so straight but today he had accepted me as his mother and he was showing that it's not me accepting him as his son as he is, it's him accepting me as his mother for the first time.

Eight months gone past since the operation, I was too busy with the two children, one in kindergarten and the other receiving physiotherapist services to help him learn to roll over and sit down. He had little muscle control to eat or drink, hold his head or sit properly but he was a happy baby without any complaints. He was a delight of our life. Only occasionally when the boy wanted to play with his little sibling, he would say, "I wish he was a normal baby", only out of love and only to play better with him but I would thank God again that the baby is alive.

One day, I had enough time to sit for 10 minutes to properly thank God for giving the child's life back and for listening to me that day. I closed my eyes and tried to be one with him in gratitude without any expectation. I started imagining a shower if rainbow colours over me. I was at peace when I saw a river of colourless pure water started flowing from above inside my body. It was so serene. suddenly my body started shaking really hard. I remembered that I was sitting I the gurdwara and people were sitting around me. I didn't want to look silly for they wouldn't know what I am seeing and feeling. With reluctance, I opened my eyes to stop my body shaking. To my surprise I noticed that I was actually sitting so still and straight as a rock and nobody had noticed anything weird about me. I regretted opening my eyes so soon but cherished the memory of the fountain and peace that flowed with it ever since. That day I knew, there was something within me that I need to connect to, to find peace. God or not, this was something special, more special than the beliefs given to me by the parents and the society and this experience was dearer than the rebellious beliefs I had about God and society.
I have to free myself of all beliefs in favour or against God and just learn to sit in gratitude to experience that magic again. Now I would follow anyone that will help me get more of that experience without their religious background because I am not attached to religion but am interested in achieving my new goal. Is this spirituality?

For many years afterwards, I kept asking question to holy looking men without any satisfactory answers. Infant I puzzled them with my questions and by sharing my experience. Only then I realised that I had experienced something very special and now the only guidance I can trust is my inner guidance that showed me the path in the first place.